The Communication of Eye-Gazing

So why do we really eye-gaze in tantric practice?

I’ve always known that it was important but it’s always been difficult to fully explain why and what is “supposed to happen”.

We talk about the eyes being the “windows of the soul”, so perhaps we are connecting souls. We need to learn how to be vulnerable and staring into someone’s eyes creates that. We cannot lie with our eyes and so maybe we are learning honesty. We need to practise full focus on the other, so perhaps this is good to do.

And beyond all of that, simply being in the habit of making comfortable eye-contact with people in life is a lovely way to live.

And yet, I knew that there was more than all of that.

And then yesterday, here in Greece, I was given a wonderful clue.

I was wandering through a little mountain village with a young Greek man chatting about philosophy, humans, and relationships. At one point, he said to me “I believe that humans are meant to communicate with each other through their emotions”.

Let’s just imagine this for a moment.

Our emotions are our truth. Our minds might get in there and heighten them or complicate matters, but at the very core of who we are, our emotions will reflect exactly where we are as humans in that moment.

The phrase “as humans” is really important here… because very often, we are acting like robots trying to be totally controlled by our brains.

We have been taught to suppress our emotions. We have been taught to put on a straight face. We have been taught to “keep that to yourself”. Even as children, we are told to go to our rooms to keep undesirable emotions from others.

But of course, when we delete the emotions from our life, what are we left with? A machine? Efficiency? A “clear” system? A cold, clear, crisp and simple life?

But as humans, we are capable of so much more.

So, let’s imagine that emotions aren’t just something you feel. It isn’t just feeling happy because things go our way and sad when they don’t. What if our emotions are communicating volumes about who we are in that moment. What if even the happiness and sadness have greater messages in them than simply our response to a situation.

What if they are so much more?

And so, now we sit in front of a loved one gazing into each other’s eyes. In silence. (Silence is important here otherwise our words will limit the true communication.)

As we gaze into each other’s eyes, we open our hearts. We allow our souls to be seen. We know it is happening is because we can “feel” things. Maybe we feel happiness, sadness, fear, grief, or elation. Maybe we feel warm, cold, nervous or excited.

The silence removes the limitations of language.

The eye contact locks us together.

And now our souls can speak…

Through our emotions…

From here, the exploration is endless… in friendship, raising children…

And definitely in romantic love.